As I’m going through this season of life with others, I noticed that we enter this awk-ward season throughout our lifespan.  It’s not just a one time deal, but this will happen more than once! WHAT!?! uggg you mean I have to go through this again? Sadly, that answer is yes!  But I’m learning that during these season of life is when most growth happens – surprising, huh? But definitely true.  This is where I would like to introduce you what I’m learning and that is called the ‘Land Between.’  I’m actually reading a book called The Land Between by Jeff Manion.  Such a great book!  As I continue to explore this new transition of my life and get to know how the Israelites handled themselves through Manion’s book ‘The Land Between,’ I pray that you will believe that you are not alone and find comfort that you will overcome this new season!  So, come and join me as we explore this thing called change.

By the fourth week, I finally began to let go of all the years that I’ve learned and practiced in leading and communicating. I had to admit to myself that I needed to allow pruning to happen in my style in order to develop new, appropriate ones. The beginning of changed occurred. I once planned everything ahead, which did not work completely well as a Recreational Therapist in the psychiatric setting. I learned that I had to understand where the patients are at and be sensitive to the atmosphere. There were many situations where a spontaneous event would occur and I would have to immediately change my group session or a particular patient would interrupt the way I envisioned the group to go or last minute an extra therapy group would be assigned to me. I had to learn to be flexible and quick with my plans. It was extremely difficult to let go of all the notes and preparation I spent preparing, but by the end of the day the patient’s needs are more of a priority than my own comfort.

As I was learning about being flexible, I was also in the process of learning how to set appropriate boundaries with the patients. I naturally open up my life stories to people and give hugs – this was my part of my leadership and communicating style. I desire to create a safe, comforting atmosphere for people and my touch and words were what I was used to giving. I learned early in the internship that for my personal safety, it was important to have particular boundaries with the patients. It was a challenge for me to accept the new boundaries that I needed to create. I did not like the “me and them” mentality. I grew up disliking exclusiveness with anything and tried my best to be inclusive with every individual I meet. But as I observed other therapists and allow my supervisor teach me different techniques of keeping my shepherding style, yet helping the patient with their recovery process without getting into details of my life. She taught me to use questions such as, “What can you do today? What coping skills can you practice this week? Where would you like to be in the next 6 months and what skills can you practice today to achieve that?” As I continued to lead different group therapy sessions, the questions slowly became natural to ask for each patient for their own particular situation.

While I was slowly developing my own leadership style as a recreational therapist, I was also learning different responsibilities an RT has. Not only do we lead group therapy sessions and sign treatment plans, but also create the atmosphere of the hospital especially during the holidays and different seasons. We’re responsible to prepare decorations, activities, and events for the patients and staffs. During my time at center, I was able to achieve all of my goals fully. I was able to develop a better knowledge of different types of activities for specific patient’s needs, treat patients using variety of recreational activities, write treatment plans for all patients (children, adolescent, adults, outpatients, and inpatients), document patient’s progress daily, care for a wide range of needs (different disorders), and learned appropriate documentation skills with the patients and family members. I learned far and beyond the goals I developed for myself. I was able to observe and learn different therapy activities (music, art, recreation, and movement); use certain medical abbreviations and words; and be around particular patients that I once had a fear of (psychosis, schizophrenia, manic, bipolar, etc…).

Overall, my experience as an RT intern has been an amazing, life-changing experience.  I learned more about myself as a person and therapist.  I came out of the internship with a new mind, a new perspective, a new heart, and a new type of strength that I never knew I could have before.  I have learned how to care for someone without talking about just my own experiences, but using activities, metaphors, and ‘what can you to today?’ types of questions.  My experiences at this center was like a caterpillar becoming a butterfly; there were much walls of comfort that needed to be torn down in order for new wings of skills, confidence, and perspective to form.  If I can describe my experience in one sentence, it would be: it’s like becoming a butterfly.

Don’t be too sad for me.  I know, this blog sounds a little pathetic, but by my surprise a small little hobby has turned into a small side business! :]  I always enjoy photography, but never quite took it seriously until recently.  So, now I’m in the process of building up my portfolio and showing the world how beautiful people and this earth is!  You can hear more of my vision and heart with J.Phan Photography with this video below   OH yeah!! Forgive me for my repetitiveness…I was actually pretty nervous making the video.  I know, I’m silly

You can view some of my photos at: http://www.facebook.com/jenny.phan3#!/pages/Livermore-CA/JPhan-Photography/143262745706742

A website and blog is coming soon.  So, stay in tune   To be completely honest with ya’ll, I NEVER imagine this to ever happen.  Maybe a little in my dreams, but never thought it would actually happen.  God truly blows my mind away without me knowing it sometimes until maybe a few weeks later haha.  He’s such a funny God.

I’m also gonna start my internship soon, so PRAY for me!  I need a lot of it!  I’m nervous yet excited.  I’ll be interning at a behavioral center as a Recreational Therapist.  I can’t wait to work with the teens.  That’s one thing I definitely look forward to   It’ll be a great experience.

So, that’s been my life for the past 3 months!  Time definitely flies by quick!  Sometimes I feel like a wanderer not knowing what is gonna come my way, but going through this desert period is teaching me to lean on God more.  It’s pushing me to desire to know my Shepherd’s voice more.  There’s so many distractions and different voices that comes our way daily, but I want to know HIS voice filled with great wisdom for He sees ALL things unlike us human beings that can only see what’s before us.  He’s been very faithful to me in the past and present; I believe He will continue to.  I’m not gonna lie; there has been days when I think about what my life “could have” been if it went my way.  But I must remember that God knows best.  He knows ALL of our hearts & inner thoughts.  He knows what we can handle and what we can’t.  As my life is slowly unfolding before my eyes, I’m seeing that I have more learning and growing to do, so I’m glad that I’ve experienced what I have especially this past year.  God is good – that’s all I can say …He is good.

Through all the dramatic changes that has occurred in my life, I am finally able to see God’s plan being better than what I imagined for myself.  My original plan this year was so structured and boring, but as God took over my plans, great creativity and color came into my life.  I am definitely loving where I’m at in life.  If I stuck to my original plans, I would have NEVER had…

• Developed SO many amazing new friendships
• Deepened many current friendships
• My relationship w/ my mom has grew stronger …she’s one of my best friends now (can’t believe I’m saying this!! If you knew us 5 years ago…you would know how miraculous this is!)
• My relationship w/ my aunts & uncles have grew deeper thru simply sharing my burdens w/ them
• Be in a play as the leading lady 

• Start a dance crew – EPIC DANCE CREW [EDC] 

Click Here to Watch:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l0RNDUJQf3c

• Speak in front of many (over 400 ppl) …I used to hate public speaking in high school and look what God has done lol

Click Here to Watch:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l0RNDUJQf3c

• Discipled AMAZING girls ~ My C’s (Cindy & Camille) and J’s (Janet & Jackie)

• Speak into many young girls’ lives that is going through EXACTLY what I’ve gone through
• The chance to pray and show hope to ppl at bars, parties, gas stations, bus stops, & many random places

Wow, this is hitting me right now.  God had a plan.  He truly does.  There’s a reason why I went through all that I did…ultimately to bring glory to His majestic name, show how real His faithful love is, and what great things He can do.  To be honest, my original plan was very selfish and self-centered focusing on ME!  My original plan was to: take 21 units in the Fall, 19 units in the Winter, move out of SLO by the end of Winter, move back home to the Bay in the Spring to intern and save money, and get married in the summer with a man that I dated for 3 years.  Yup, very fun and creative, right?  Ummm looking back now…no.  These plans were selfish. I wanted to live for God, but taking ALL those units would NOT have allowed me to make time to pour into anyone!  I’ve taken 21 units before and I had NO life…just me, books, library, and my bed.  I hated it and I cannot believe I thought of doing that again!!  

The Lord knew my heart’s desires to do SO many things before getting married, but I stuffed those desires behind me.  I thought they’re just dreams, not important.  But in the end, God thought they were important and showed me that He placed those desires in my heart for a reason.  He wanted me to shine His heart and traits to the world through those desires.  It’s crazy how ALL the things I’ve always wanted to do has happened simply within a year!  

I am truly blessed to serve such a wonderful God!  This is very true:  

“‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the LORD, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.’” -Jeremiah 29:11

I’ve questioned many times if I made the right decision of letting go of such a serious, long-term relationship, but I’m firmly able to say no, I did not regret it because I wouldn’t have been where I am today.  As hard as it was, I’m glad that I obeyed God’s voice of completely letting go of the relationship.  It was not easy at all going thru the cycle of grief even though I was the one that ended it, but  it truly has made me SO much stronger and I’ve figured out who Jenny is again :]  

I’m FULLY understanding this verse now and seeing how my character is developed everyday, lacking nothing…

“Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.” – James 1:2-4

As I’m writing, I can’t help but smile.  Everything is coming together and I’m finally reaching the top of the mountain, which God and I have been climbing so intensely this past year.  Thank You Lord for not giving up on me.  Thank You for being so faithful to me when I was faithless.  Thank You Abba Father for seeing past my weaknesses and faults.  I truly do not deserve any of these blessings!!  

“For the LORD sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the LORD looks on the heart.” – 1 Samuel 16:7

I was listening to this song the other day while I was journaling and as I listened to the lyrics, I began thinking, “Wow, this truly describes my relationship with God.”  I would like to share ya’ll “our song” haha…so cheezy, I know!  

I’m learning how faithful my God is and His ways are truly better …more prosperous, more abundant, more freeing even if we have to experience pain, hurt, and grief.  Through that is when we see how present He is.  Without suffering, we will not see compassion.

“Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love Him.” -James 1:12

I see so many classmates, friends, relatives, and even my parents that would tell me the SAME thing over and over again.  When I ask people, “What have you been up to?”  I usually get, “Ohh the same. Work, school, church, and yeahhh.”  DONE. Final answer.  I’m sorry, but really!?!  BORING.  Harsh eh?  Well, I’m frustrated with people living the same ol’ same ol’ life when they can live their life to such full potential.  I feel like God has gifted me reaching into a person’s heart and bringing their full potential out.  Every time I look at someone, I just want to pull those dreams out of them!!   That’s why I encourage many those around me when I see a gift, talent, skill, or beauty that’s waiting to bloom.  Many think I’m being nice, but honestly if I do not see it in someone, I wouldn’t have the words to say it.  Straight up.  

This quote is VERY true:

“There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story that’s inside of you.” ~Maya Angelou

We all have a story to offer even if you don’t want to.  I don’t know what’s your story.  I don’t know where you’re at in life, but just know that you have a story living in you WAITING to come out.  Don’t just sit there waiting for something to happen, but get out and GO!!  Stop living an ordinary life!  

The past few months, I’ve had many people ask me: “What’s your secret, Jenny?  How do you have many quality men pursue you intentionally?  How are you friends with so many people?  How do you get along with this and that person?  How have you overcome these particular insecurities?”  And honestly, my secret is… Jesus.  And this is where many eye-rolling comes in!!  But here me out …by that I mean, when you submit yourself to God in talking to Him daily of which direction to go, He will definitely guide your heart and actions.  When you obey His calling, you’ll be surprised to what you’re overcoming.  He will show you all these talents you never knew was in you all along!!  There are many Christians that goes to church, lead Bible Studies, knows the right answers, yet still do not know who they really are because they haven’t truly “submit” themselves before God to even allow Him to intervene.  It’s easy to do the “same,” typical lifestyle.  

For example:  In high school I specifically told myself that I would NEVER EVER be a writer or speaker!! I mean NEVER!!  I hated public speaking and English was my worse subject!  HA…and look what’s happening.  Those are the 2 things that I enjoy and desire to do now – to be an inspirational speaker & writer one day.  CRAZY huh!?  If I constantly lived in fear, I would be STUCK.  Three years ago, God wanted me to lead Jr. High girls at my church and for 6 months I battled with God.  I was like, “Ohhhh no…NOT me!  I do not have any patience for that, esp. JR. HIGHERS!!”  But finally I obeyed His calling and through that I have developed patience that exceed my mind, which has prepared me in leading young college girls now! 

“You may encounter many defeats, but you must not be defeated. In fact, it may be necessary to encounter the defeats, so you can know who you are, what you can rise from, how you can still come out of it.”

I’ve been through many obstacles, failures, and suffering in my life, but it is through those experiences that have brought me to where I am today in being able to relate to many by the grace of God who has turn my weaknesses into strength!  Praise Jesus!! 

You truly attract others by the way you carry yourself.  When you display yourself as easy, you’ll attract perverted cowards.  When you display yourself with respect and dignity, then you’ll attract those that can keep up with you and do the same.  When you display rudeness, you have people ignore you or be rude right back.  When you display humility & gentleness, you provide a safe place for ppl to turn to like Jesus did.

I LOVE this picture of a beautiful trait of a woman displayed in the Bible…

“She’s like a trading ship that sails to faraway places and brings back exotic surprises.” ~Proverbs 31 (The Message translation)

This verse gives draws a gorgeous image of a woman that has something to offer – her intelligence, beauty, serving heart, and new discoveries!!  To have an audience, you must have a story.  Simple as that.  Before we can even offer ourselves to ppl, we need to know who we are.  How can you offer yourself when you don’t even have a story to begin with!!   No change = no growth = no butterfly = no story to offer.

I like to ask you this… 

• What are your passions?  
• What are your goals?  
• How would you like to make a difference in this world?  
• What do you like to do? 
• Paint? Sing? Dance? Garden? Cook? Travel? Poetry?  Start a company?  Become a speaker? Writer?

…Take the time to ask yourself: Who is (your name)?  What is my purpose here on earth?  For many Christians, you will probably answer, “It’s to bring life into ppl’s lives! DUH!!”  That’s great, but what does that LOOK like for YOU?  And when it comes down to it, are you learning?  In order to offer a story, we need to be able to learn in order to even offer anything, which requires us to be disciplined, overcoming fears/insecurities, reading the Bible* (much learning takes place here!), and to take risks!  Life is too short to be ordinary; be EXTRAordinary!

“Each of us has that right, that possibility, to invent ourselves daily. If a person does not invent herself, she will be invented. So, to be bodacious enough to invent ourselves is wise.”

I’m learning more and more everyday to not settle for the usual, but to wait upon God’s best!!  Let Him take you on an adventure that He’s been dying to take you on!!  It is time!

What’s my secret?  …endless stories written by a constant everlasting God that will NEVER run out of ideas (just look at His creation on this earth…endless creatures and plants)

So, what’s YOUR story?

So it’s another windy day in SLO.  It was warm early in the week, but the weather suddenly changed to gloominess.  I can’t wait for the sun to come out again!  This past week I learned more about the ecosystem, especially after my RPTA 413 class and I went to visit Morro Bay Estuary on Wednesday.  It was such a great day to go out there.  The atmosphere was perfect – sunny, light breeze, and refreshing smell of the ocean.  I learned that their are a variety of fishes, sea otters, sea lions, seals, birds, mammals, and sea creatures that exists at the Estuary.  However, the birds are becoming endangered, especially the clover birds.  These type of birds lay their eggs on the ground in the sand, which makes it difficult for people to detect. So, when people go to play on the sand or walk their dogs, they would accidentally step on the clover’s eggs.  That is why now they need to fence an area to allow the birds to lay their eggs, but even then it’s difficult to keep people away from it.  I learned how every action we make to the environment, people around us, and different species affects us all as a whole!! …

The Estuary is solely for tourism and local businesses, especially with the rise of the kayaking industry.  Currently they have three main industries, which are kayaking, fishing, and the oyster culture.  They collect approximately 80% of commercial fishes.  In order for the area to continue to be used by the people, Morro Bay’s Chamber of Commerce would host different types of special events.  One event they put together is the Harbor Festival that usually happens in October.  The festival would have about 169 vendors for the community.  All of the money raised would then be donated to non-profit organizations in the area.  Recently, they have decided to not only host games and performances, but to also educate the children to teach others and their parents how every action we make affects the entire environment as a whole.  The goal behind this idea is to not only educate, but to put the education into action.  And if we begin with the children, it will then be passed on to other generations.  

These events do not simply happen; there are much regulation and approvals that needs to take place before they’re allowed to become an event.  Last year’s Harbor Festival, they had to be careful with how much tons of trash they generated.  The Coastal Act helps protect the environment and protect the animals; that’s why they have much regulation of how much you can fish and how big the fish are.  When I go to an event, I never knew much regulations was involved.  I thought the only thing you need to think about when it comes to special events, tourism, or any recreational activities are: the budget, risks, and decorations/equipments.  I would NEVER have thought about the species around me, but I’m really glad that we are considering every aspect of the community even the ecosystem.  If we neglected that aspect, then we indirectly somehow neglect us too.  Personally hearing and seeing how difficult it is to provide recreation to the community, yet trying to protect the environment at it’s most natural state has truly opened up my eyes with how much consideration we need to take.  It has motivated me even more to help out these places by being a good citizen myself.  When I see a smoke bud, I want to directly throw it away rather than expecting the maintenance worker to.  Also, I want to take the time to read the signs to better understand the area around me so I know how to treat it well.  Honestly, I don’t read the signs often since typically they all seemed the same to me, but after hearing what a challenge it is to communicate to the public, it has made me appreciate these signs and to actually read them now.  

In addition, this week in class we split up into different groups studying different ecosystems.  Our group focused on the Red Sea Coral Reef.  It was truly fascinating to understand how much these coral reefs provide.  I thought they were just pretty rocks lol.  I did not know that these reefs actually provides a protective barrier around the islands and coasts from the strong currents and waves.  Without these reefs, the island would deteriorate away into the ocean.  Also, there are many different animals and plants that live in these reefs. They provide shelter, breeding sites, sources of food for a variety of marine organisms, medicines, chemicals, other resources, and controls how much carbon dioxide is in the ocean water.  If there are a large amount of carbon dioxide in the ocean, it’ll affect the earth as a whole.  These reefs are not just for our visual enjoyment, but it helps support many species around them.  The difficult part is how to take care of these reefs.  The reef tourism includes: swimming, boating, snorkeling and scuba diving. All these recreational activities may seem innocent at the surface level, but the reefs are very susceptible to damage and become stressed easily.  

Learning about the reef tourism, made me become curious how every move we make can affect the world around us.  As I read the textbook more, I finally understand that even plants and soil stuck to our clothing and shoes can cause a change and new development!  So crazy how even the smallest, unnoticeable things that cannot be detected by the naked eye can cause much affect!  Not only does our body have the ability to transport one place to another, but our interactions with the animals can also affect the animals themselves to act differently to other animals or human beings.  For instance, handing out food to animals like squirrels can cause the animals’ natural behavior to change and their fearlessness decreases, which generates aggression easily.  Not only handing out food can be a trouble, but also giving much attention can cause stress to the animals, which makes them become stressed, aggressive, of habituated.   

Having a better understand of how even the most smallest things can change an environment has made me think, “how in the world do you live?”  I want to protect the natural life as much as possible, but how do you please everyone – humans, animals, plants, the land, and so forth?  What is the proper way to take care of everyone’s needs?  I guess we learn as we go.  There has been many mistakes done with good intentions, but from those mistakes we have learned what works and what doesn’t.  As much as I personally try to live my life in trying to do the right thing or know all the right answers; sometimes we must fall in order to know what’s wrong until a new discovery takes place.  Life can be so complicated, yet fascinating at the same time

While I was praying in solitude, He gave me an image of me being in a nest and Him patting my head to stay in the nest.  This image made me realize how much I’ve been trying to fly like a baby bird.  I’ve been trying to get out of the nest in many directions.  The first few stages of baby birds, they try to fly out of the nest, but the Mama bird would catch them as they get out of the nest, until one day the Mama bird thinks the baby birds are ready to fly.  That is when she steps back and allow the baby birds to fly on their own.  In the same way, that’s how my life has been the past few months.  I’ve been stepping out of the nest in many directions wanting to fly and be “normal” again.  But time after time, God has been catching me telling me “not now.”  Finally, He has me in a safe place of discipline in the nest.  So, I’m not going to move in any direction right now, until I get a “go” from Him.  I truly believe this is where He wants me right now.  While this is happening, for some reason I’m sensing Him doing something right now.  I don’t quite know what it is, but He’s been giving me this huge peace and constant reassurance to wait patiently because He’s doing something miraculous.  I’m excited to see what He’s preparing <3 

He knows me so well to how driven and impulsive I can get that He had to pull me aside in a gentle way.  I realized more that I don’t handle well when someone is harsh or rough with me with their words, face expression, and behavior.  As straight-forward and real I want someone to be with me; in the end I’m learning that I’m not receptive when it’s done in a blunt-harsh manner.  I am more tender than I thought I have become! lol.  Because in high school, I could careless, but as I’m drawing closer to the Lord, He’s transforming my harden heart to tenderness.   

Anyways, so that’s where I’m at.  In a nest waiting patiently before my Lord.  

“But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently.” ~Romans 8:25 

“And so after waiting patiently, Abraham received what was promised.” ~Hebrews 6:15

Goal: I hope to one day counsel teen girls, especially human-trafficking survivor. I would LOVE to work in an aftercare treatment program <3 And I also hope to work in family and marriage counseling.

So here are my 2 options:

1) William Jessup: 
+BS in Marriage & Family counseling 
+Start in Spring 2011 
+in San Jose (30-45 min commute)
+1.5 year program
+meet once a week on Tuesdays and occasionally on Saturdays

Website: http://www.jessup.edu/sps/sps-bachelor-degrees/counseling-psychology

2) Bethany University: 
+MS in Clinical Psychology 
+Start in Fall 2011 (their programs only start in Fall) 
+in Santa Cruz (1.5 hr commute) 
+meet twice a week on Tuesdays & Thursdays 3-9:30pm
+2 year program
+approved by the California Board of Behavioral Sciences (BBS)
+accredited by the Western Association of Schools and Colleges

Website: http://www.bethany.edu/academics/graduate/psychology/coursework.php

Something about being kind, caring, selfless, humble, respectful, noble, pure, & honest captivates and inspires many people.  We all want a leader like this; we all want to be with someone that has these traits; we all want to personally have these traits as well.  But sadly, our culture today dismiss this and focus more on the outer appearance and on what “I” want.  We live in a very “I” culture now.  It’s all about me…me…ME!  What “I” want?  About “my” happiness.  Everywhere you go, you constantly see advertisements, commercials, billboards, movies, TV shows, and books that constantly talks about achieving your happiness and getting what you want.  And as you can see, there are more brokeness and pain in this world because of that pursuit!!

You see many men and women getting divorced from left to right because they have lost sight of loving each other unconditionally, and giving themselves up fully for one another.  They think, “Oh my gosh, I do this and that for him/her and they don’t even give a sh**, and there this other guy/girl giving me this special attention and it’s all about MY happiness and blah blah blah…”  Honestly, it’s a cycle.  If you cannot overcome the challenges of your first marriage, how is it any different with your next.  The issue isn’t the person, it’s HOW we handle the situation.  Now that we can make choices and have lower our standards, perseverance is a joke now!   But doesn’t it touch your heart to see a grandpa and grandma be together for 45 years – I think that’s BEAUTIFUL!  It should be that way, but in order to make ourselves feel better, we use excuses after another excuses that mainly focuses on who??…  YOU.  Yup, we have become selfish, consuming “I” people.  

Now, with single men and women who date 100 times, having sex with 56 men/women.  It honestly saddens me to see people live their lives like that.  They think that is the greatest prize or achievement to have….ummmm no.  How is it achieving to be able to sleep with a bunch of men/women?  Honestly, how is that!?  I’m sorry but does that sound pathetic to just me?  I mean come on now!  I am not judging or looking down on anyone, but I’m just frustrated in seeing people live like this because I personally fell into it and now my life is so much fuller and better without it!  

I once thought that if I can get a bunch of guys drooling all over me or always getting drunk that it’ll make me a desirable, popular, happy person.  And the sad thing is … it DOESN’T!!  I’ve done it and by the end of the day, I still feel empty inside.  

Honestly, what happened to changing the world and making a difference in people’s lives??  Well, it’s really hard to think about others if you’re so caught up in yourself and what you want.  I see so many girls throwing their bodies out their thinking that they’re powerful and that they have it all; when really they’re making themselves as trash.  I mean aren’t trash where you eat or use something and after you’re done with it you throw it away.  Well, there are many girls that put themselves out there being touched from left to right and in the end, they were a man’s trash from last Saturday.  Is that valuable to you?  That is why many women are constantly getting men that don’t treat them well because they attract to what they give.  If you respect your body then you will attract a man that will respect you.  

I want to say that there is more to life than sex, money, nice cars, $5,000 Gucci bags, food, clothes, watching TV.  We are constantly consumed with ourselves and does anyone get tired of it!? Because I do.  What has happened to being honest, trustworthy, loving others more than yourself, respecting elders, keeping yourself pure, being patient, giving to the poor, being a voice to the voiceless.  I hear SO MANY people say, “Wow, I admire Mother Theresa or Martin Luther King or Ghandi or John Piper or Apostle Paul or whoever that made a difference in this world.”  As much as we admire these people, don’t forget that these are just people like you and me, but decided to live their lives in a selfless way.  They didn’t desire to become famous; they didn’t wait to become a movie star to make change happen; they didn’t wait until their career is set in order to have a voice; they JUST DID IT one day at a time, one person at a time!  They weren’t waiting for a spark, but had a great compassion for something and went for it.  

And sadly I, Jenny, struggle with this everyday.  I struggle in denying myself for people.  Me being a daughter of the King, Jesus Christ, I am consider His princess representing Him.  I don’t live my life everyday like a princess that cares for the people before me.  But the way you live will truly affect others…  A few months ago, I was riding the bus to go home from Cal Poly and an old women came in.  I saw a guy offer his seat to her and I thought, “Wow, just that small act of respect and kindness really inspired me to do the same.”  So a few weeks later, a women with her baby came in and it took me a while to realize how this is a great opportunity to give my seat up for her, but I forgot because it’s easy to think about ourselves first.  But thankfully, I realize the women should sit and in the same way, others looked at me funny yet touched.  It’s SO SAD how we don’t see this more often.  But then we start thinking, “Well…then who is going to care for me!? I ALWAYS care for other people and they don’t even notice or treat me in return.”  AHH HAA!!…that’s where the magic comes in =D  That is the WHOLE point!!  Where you do things not for attention, not to be a “better person” thinking look at me look at me. No! It’s doing it because there’s more to life than yourself and you being GREATLY blessed in having food on the table, a head over your roof, clothes on your back, and a life to live, why shouldn’t you help others.

What motivates me personally is being SO LOVED.  Not just by my family and friends, but by Jesus Christ.  Most of you by now may know that I am a Christian (which means “Little Christ”).  I questioned my purpose in life during my 1st year in college and after much research and meeting people, I realize how real and alive God is.  I personally have encountered His great love because I finally seek it rather than allowing the media & others determine that.  Not much people know that this Creator wants a relationship with His people.  We all have friendships and relationships with our mother, father, sisters, brothers, husband, wife, daughters, sons, and etc…but the entire point of these relationships is to show us how much our God wants a relationship with us too.  But sadly the church hasn’t been great on sharing that message or people have been too numb to even want to see if that’s true.  But I want to tell you that I have experienced a great relationship with God and continually am.  He has blessed me greatly with amazing people in my life.  He has protected me and watched over me.   He would show me His heart by placing ideas of what to how to share it to ppl by providing an encouraging word, a smile, food, money, or anything.

That is why I live my life the way I do.  Not because I have to, but because I want to.  When you are so loved, you cannot help but share that with others.  It’s like eating at a really nice restaurant – it’s so delicious that you cannot help but recommend it to others.  Just in the same way, God has showed me His great love through Jesus Christ, where He gave up His Son to die on the cross for me.  When I see how dirty of a person I am, I realize, “Wow, how much I need a Savior to get me to heaven because I cannot do it on my own.”  I constantly mess up.  Now, before you start thinking, “Gosh, she needs to not beat herself up, she’s so hard on herself.”  I want to say No I’m not.  I’m just facing reality rather denying it.  Face it, you have lied at least once, you have looked at someone sexually at least once, you have wanted to murder someone in your mind at least once, you have cheated on a test at least once, and the list goes on.  No matter how small or how big our mistakes are, we have all fallen short and sinned.  Sin is sin the Bible says, just different consequences.  Basically, what I’m trying to say is that I have realized how much God loves me and from that, I have been touched to love others in ways that no man can ever understand.  

It is time that we stop thinking about ourselves and live a life like a Princess and Prince.  Let’s bring these noble traits back!!  I mean, look at your life…are you REALLY satisfied by the end of the day?  Honestly, when you’re alone at night, do you find your soul fulfilled or wanting more?  I mean look at us! We eat and eat; we buy and buy more clothes; we date from one guy/girl to another; we drink and drink more to ease any pain or awkwardness; we have sex and want more.  Everything we do in life is a constant need for more.  We are such needy people, but this is where we all miss the target – the ONLY thing that can satisfy us is having an intimate relationship with Jesus Christ.  That is what I and many of my friends have found.  Now, this doesn’t mean I’m all happy-go-lucky ALL the time.  I still go through pain, suffering, sorrow, grief, and all these crazy emotions, but at least I have a God that is by my side to help me get through them all.  Right now, we go through temporary suffering on earth, but I’m excited for that day to come when God will wipe away my tears and take away the pain when I go to heaven just as He has promised.  These few verses from the Bible talks about the new Heaven that God is going to create and what it will be like if we believe and follow Him:

“Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and there was no longer any sea. I saw the Holy City, the new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride beautifully dressed for her husband. And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, ‘Now the dwelling of God is with men, and he will live with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.’” – Revelation 21:1-4

There is something in all of our hearts that desire to be a Princess that transform lives and Princes that rescues and saves those that are in captive.  Where has these amazing, life-changing men and women go?  What have we become?  We aren’t just animals that are born to just have sex, eat, drink, and sit on our butts.  God gave us these minds, dreams, hearts, hands, and feet for a reason.  What happened to just dancing in your house, singing while you clean, writing poems, reflecting, and thinking about life for a change.  Doesn’t it become draining to do the SAME thing over again.  We’re created to change this…so go become the change!  

 ”He [God] has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end.” – Ecclesiastes 3:10-11